I know I'm broke when I'm willing to wake up at the crack of dawn to give to someone. However, it is an extremely generous offer and only requires a few hours of sewing on my part. I kind of want to ask if I've been 'given' this opportunity as a way of them helping me, but I'll leave well enough alone and be happy with the opportunity.
Back to asking the family for money--my Aunt responded with a resounding yes. My Grandfather demanded big explanations as to why I had abandoned my family. I didn't realize that in life, it is the responsibility of one person to maintain a relationship with their entire family regardless of how much they shun you. Long story short, I sent a very tear-filled email as to how I felt and I guess he could understand because he's going to help as well. I still have not heard from my uncle and at this point I don't think I shall.
Unfortunately, I think one of the conditions of being loaned this money is me talking with my mother. Growing up, most of my memories are of everyone else but my mother--she was a selfish woman with a personal agenda and I never felt as though I were part of it. When my younger siblings came along, she had plenty of love for them--but I think I was the 'oops' pregnancy and she transferred that onto me when I was born. As a result, she's allowed situations to occur that never should have, she has exposed me to dangerous situations that didn't always end well.
I have forgiven her for these things because I'd rather not live a life where I play the part of victim. However, I think it would be unwise to forget--because by forgetting I could potentially open myself up to similar situations. Besides, not once have I heard an apology or have been asked to forgive. And I firmly believe when there is a volatile force in your life, you need to remove it in order to grow.
Good grief, how did money turn into mother issues--oy!
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