120 before 40!

After a lot of research and experimentation, I am on my way to weighing 120 pounds before I turn 40. This gives me a little over 2.5 years to lose 100 pounds.

I've looked in to Paleo and I really enjoy it, but I also need me some boundaries. I've considered Weight Watchers, but at roughly 1240 calories a day, I knew I wasn't going to last long. I've read too many times that a woman looking to lose weight should consume at least 1500 calories a day in order to not only be healthy, but to also maintain that level of restriction. Less is not good for the long term and this is a change I want to implement forever.

So, now I'm on MyFitnessPal.com and I'm figuring out how to feel satisfied while staying within my 1650 calorie limit. I don't foresee any great difficulties other than trying to find snacks and such that work. I'm not going to go back to tons of grains or such and I've drastically improved my diet over the past year, so this should be much simpler.

I'm doing this to be healthy, not to please anyone but myself. I will admit, however, that intimacy has been an issue as I tend to hide myself. And, if I don't want to see myself in intimate situations, I don't want to assume anyone does either.

This is not to say that larger people cannot be loved. But I'm not full-figured. I've gone beyond that point. I have to face it, I'm fat! It's unhealthy and unattractive and there is no excuse other than sheer laziness. I respect my body and all it does for me but I cannot say I love it's current physical condition as regards the excess pounds.

Dating has also been problematic. While I've run the gambit in dating partners as concerns weight, height, intelligence, looks, income, etc I wonder if my weight does keep me back from perhaps finding someone who is more suited to me. Of all the [many] dates I've been on, only 2 have obviously been turned-off by my body. Overall, it's not a problem. However, I'm a super energetic peppy person and the men I find who are also of a like mind are also looking for someone who is healthy. I can't blame them! I don't want to have to worry about someone else's health due to their weight.

So, I admit the shallow and say yes--as much as your mind can turn me on, your body must as well. I cannot be a hypocrite and expect someone to look at me and not take that in to consideration. This isn't going to stop me from seeking a partner, but it will be interesting to see if the partners change in any respect.

2.5 years--it's a long time and not so long, to lose 100 pounds. Even then I'd still be considered overweight, but I remember being 100 pounds and thinking I looked skeletal. So, 120 is my goal for now. 

Wish me luck and we'll see how things turn out!